By: Jezebel Vanity, Senior Celebrity Slant Correspondent
Move over, injected fillers. Step aside, $1,000 LED masks. If you weren’t backstage at the Vanity Fang Oscars after-party, you missed the beauty bomb heard ‘round the world: . model tabloid lipstik
Just remember: With every swipe, you’re not just painting your pout. You’re signing the headline. Just remember: With every swipe, you’re not just
"I love it," she slurred, hiding her face behind a Hermès bag. "It stays on through depositions, DUI checkpoints, and screaming 'I am not a trainwreck' at paparazzi. But my lawyer said I can't say where I bought it." "It stays on through depositions, DUI checkpoints, and
Dermatologists are baffled. "It doesn't chap your lips," says Dr. Feelgood of Beverly Hills. "It defames them. We’re seeing cases of acute character assassination on the Cupid’s bow." Is Model Tabloid Lipstik worth the $450 price tag (plus a signed NDA)? If you want a shade that screams "Don't talk to me unless you’re serving papers," absolutely.
Another A-lister, whose name rhymes with Pindsey Lohan , was spotted frantically scrubbing her mouth with a wet wipe after a judge ordered her to remove "that aggressively red smirk" from a Zoom hearing. Beauty influencers are divided. On TikTok, the hashtag #LipstikBurn is trending. Users claim that when you apply a third coat, the lipstick projects holographic tabloid headlines onto your bathroom mirror. "I put it on and suddenly read 'CELLULITE AND CIGARETTES: STAR FALLS APART' across my forehead," one user cried. "I haven't felt this seen since my last rehab stint."