The spinning dots of “Just a moment…” felt like a victory lap. Two minutes later, the desktop appeared. No Cortana. No OneDrive prompts. No “Finish setting up your PC” nag screens. Just a clean, blue wallpaper, a recycle bin, and a taskbar that was completely, blissfully silent.

Leo clicked it. A new field appeared. Username: Leo . Password: left blank for now. Next. Next. “Choose privacy settings”—all off. “Customize your experience”—no thanks.

“Sign in with a Microsoft account.”