I opened the folder (yes, I actually checked my spam quarantine, as one does at 2 AM when insomnia hits). And there they were. Digital coupons for “Squirt.”

The Weekly Grind Post Title: I Found “Squirt Coupons” in My Spam Folder & Now I Have Questions

If they hand me a soda, I win. If they call security, I also win.

“Oh, nice! Squirt is that citrus soda. The grapefruit one. That stuff is great with a shot of vodka or just on a hot day. I wonder if it’s for the 12-pack or the 2-liter bottles?”